All day now, I have been trying to think of the time I knew, really knew I didn’t want to be married to 1husband anymore, and I think it is really all about a motorcycle.
Spring 2012: yep 2 years ago, I decided I was going to get back on a bike again. I rode in ’91 till about ’94 then, well, life happened. The bike didn’t make it into the u-haul for a move and a replacement bike was never bought. That’s life. And then one day its 20 years later and I wanted back on a bike again. I saw the bikes on the road with the bundled riders that cold wet spring and I wanted back on a bike.
So I joined up with a riding club who supplied bikes and started riding again. Rode a couple times a week, rode a bunch of bikes and got my learners because the other thing I never did was get a license to ride in this province. I passed the exams and 1husband knew about all of this. I told him in details my trials on the bikes I rode. The guys I was riding with. What I liked and didn’t like in all the various bikes I tried out.
1husband was there, he was present and he seemed to be encouraging.
And then it was late summer 2012 and I went to buy my bike.
And wow, all hell broke loose.
It was a big fight. Probably one of the biggest ever. All of a sudden I was forbidden. No way, no how was a bike being allowed into my life. He threatened me, he told me it would be the end of us. I fought at first, and then I caved, I thought the marriage was worth more than a motorcycle. He told me I was never to be on a bike again. Told me many hateful things. I was too fat to ride the engine would die. I was too old, too ugly, too stupid.
I had a dream. He rides. It’s a Harley. I thought we could ride together one day. I thought I could ride my own.
Go figure, I am so often wrong about so many things.
So December 2014, when he asks, why I am leaving? Well its about a motorcycle, actually.
What will I say? What will I tell him? Can I have the courage to say ‘It’s pretty simple baby, when it comes to our marriage, or me on a bike, well hunbuns, its gonna be me on a little 250’.
Take a good look, baby and gaze deeply.
Ask yourself this:
Isn’t she worth it? Isn’t she worth more than this?
Isn’t she beautiful?
How is it that you do not love her? Not want her? How can it be this way?
Wouldn’t you want to ride along side her for the rest of your life?
Why rejection? I do not understand, I will never understand, so all I can do is leave and hope for someone to want this little girl to be accepted as part of their life and travels.
Look, she is perfect just the way it is, and she deserves to be wanted, needed, cherished even.
And, I just don’t think this should be a forbidden love.